Doubt and Skepticism are Common
You may have questions about mediation. You are not alone. Doubt is common and doesn’t predict whether mediation will be useful.
Without mediation, many people don’t have an opportunity to simply sit down and talk.
If you are afraid or worried, please visit the I’m Afraid or Worried page.
Usually, communication has broken down
- You have not spoken directly to each other recently
- You get most information second or third-hand
- You hear rumors or see Facebook
- Conversations or calls get heated
- Someone doesn’t want the two of you to talk together
You Have Some Common Concerns
- People want to be heard (see Dealing with Conflict)
- You have questions you want answered
- You want the situation resolved
- Sometimes things feel out of control
- You want to have a say in your future
- You care for your children
- You can be heard
- You can make your own decision
A woman leaving a divorce mediation session recently stated that she was glad they had mediated, even though they had only reached agreement on one issue.
I had a chance to tell him some things I haven’t been able to say before this.
Communication is Key
People have an opportunity to speak together face-to-face in a controlled, neutral space. They are able to gain a better understanding of themselves, each other, and a situation as a whole. Most importantly, people find they are able to agree on common goals and are able to set aside feelings of hurt, anger or fear.
When people begin talking together unexpected things may happen.
Decisions and Solutions
Skilled mediators help people navigate difficult conversations but the parties determine solutions. If an agreement is not reached, parties still benefit because they feel they have…
- been heard,
- had an opportunity to “set the record straight,”
- become unstuck.